Terry Fanning, Ignatian Spiritual Director from JISA Campion in Victoria, writes about the ongoing gift of the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius in her life.

It was another beautiful morning. The sea glistening in the early morning sunshine, the temperature a bit on the cool side but it is early winter after all.

My spirit was uneasy. The water was not dropping gently onto the sponge, but splashing loudly onto the stone, drawing my attention to look more closely at the cause of my uneasiness. The previous evening my plans for proceeding in a particular manner in this current retreat had been challenged. I felt the alternative put forward to my way would not be conducive to my directee’s progress. My response to my colleague’s suggestions had been quick and dismissive. I didn’t listen.

So, there I was looking for consolation in the sea.

Through the window I could see some rocks between me and the horizon and somehow in my imagination those rocks became the base of a see-saw. I pondered how difficult it would be to keep that see-saw balanced with the wind and the waves coming at it.

With that came the realization of how unbalanced my spirit was just then. I was not in place of spiritual freedom, not free to discern the best way forward. I was holding too tightly to my way of doing things. There was no room for the holy spirit here. So, I sat and contemplated the seventh rule in the second set of rules for discernment in the Spiritual Exercises.

[335] Seventh Rule. With those who go from good to better, the good angel touches the soul gently, lightly, and sweetly, like a drop of water going into a sponge, while the bad spirit touches her sharply with noise and disturbance, as when a drop of water falls on a stone. With those who go from bad to worse, these same spirits touch the soul the opposite way. The reason for this difference is that the disposition of the soul of the person touched is either contrary or similar to these angels: when it is contrary, the spirits enter with noise and disturbance, making their presence felt; when the disposition is similar they come in quietly, as one who enters one’s own house by an open door.”

“Ignatius seems to have held that in the case of a person who is seeking God and becoming sensitive to interior experience…To such a person some note of dissonance or unease must in the end betray the deceiver’s presence” [Michael Iver’s SJ. Understanding the Spiritual Exercises. Pg 234]

I cannot recall when the change happened precisely, but when I left that place of contemplation I felt as though a weight had been lifted from me. I let go of my tight grip and allowed the Holy Spirit to work through me again.

I marvel once more at the fact that nobody told me when I began to make the Spiritual Exercises in Daily life, more than twenty years ago, that I would never stop making them and that I would be as relevant today as they were for Ignatius Loyola five centuries ago.

Terry Fanning is an Ignatian Spiritual Director, Giver of the Spiritual Exercises, and Pastoral Supervisor with JISA Campion in VIC. She loves the power and dynamic of the Spiritual Exercises to enable people to experience God’s loving and creative presence within and around them.

To enquire about the Spiritual Exercises, contact Jesuit and Ignatian Spirituality Australia on
1300 EXAMEN (1300-392-636) or info@jisa.org.au.

Terry Fanning